"The world won't change even when you see it up-side-down" When the Kappa said so, I realized there's no place to hide in this wold.
People sometimes can understand the other people more than themselves. That was my sophomore year in my collage, I finally realized the shape of my "sadness" . The assignment I've got was "sadness" and I saw some people did the drawing of somebody crying. That was very natural for me to draw myself looking the world up-side-down. I was very sad to know the world won't change if I see it up-side-down.
"Kappa" written by Ryunosuke Akutagawa, is a very short story. "Kappa" is an ancient monster which live near the river, like between the frog and monkey, and eat cucumbers. The story itself is not so exciting. The man came into the Kappa land by accident and live there for a while. But when I read the Kappa saying so, I realized that there's no place to hide in this world because even the ancient monster felt like that way. So I guess, that was my starting point of my creation to make the world easier to live "for me".
When I think back of my life, I'm highly influenced by Ryunosuke Akutagawa and felt like he taught me the shape of the depression. In my childhood, I saw the "The spider's thread" puppet show on educational channel, I felt like I was going to the hell. If the God won't give us even a single spider thread of hope, I thought this world is just like a hell. If somebody in that educational channel believed that child easily think "oh, if I'm not a good boy, I will be going to hell. let's be nice", that's just so stupid.
In my adolescence, I was very sensitive and was almost believed that I might hear the sound of gear soon. Sorry, "Spinning Gear" is one of Akutagawa's last novels. He committed suicide after he wrote it.
Almost three years ago, I got the email from my editor of Gakken Educational Publishing about making the children's book for adults. Becoming the children's book artist was my dream, so I was a bit scared of making my own book. I just couldn't imagine myself after I finished doing it. So I took this many years to make my own book, but the idea came to me so naturally. I already decided that my first book should be about my world. About the world I can live easily today. So this is how I came up to this "ovet the up-side-down world" idea for the book.
The good thing is I could hear the people's voice after my book published. I remember why I became the illustrator, not the artist. That was because I loved so much about "the art which everyone can have" meaning "book". You know almost every interviewer asks me "why do you live in New York?" and I always say "New York is very exciting city. There are so many galleries in Chelsea and I love going to the Museums too :)" That is true that I'm excited to going there for the art. But I feel like I go there for buying the catalogs. I love "having" my favorite art in my bookshelf. As you listen the music when you feel like it, I read the book like I need to.
So if I say something has changed, that was the big difference for me to know what people think about my book. The difficult person said that was a difficult book, positive person told me that was positive book, some said it's cute, and some said don't like it. I can feel my world is spreading to the reality as with the many people's thoughts. This is impressive. I again realized that I love the illustration as it is. I feel like I'm going to write the children's book as many as I can in all over the world and I will have the exhibition like library before I die. That's my next goal. I started to make new children's book. for this time, its' for children :)
The world won't change even if I see it up side down.
But I don't hear the sound of spinning gear.
That was a nice year like always. The next year should be good too.